DWTS Season 11: And The Winner Is…

ABC/Adam Larkey

By now, you should know who won the show. If you want to relive the big finale, here’s my final recap of the season – a sort of dance family reunion!

The show started with a little dance from the pros who were eventually joined by their stars for a mini-solo. Don’t cry – we haven’t seen the last of them (yet)!

Wow! Brooke Burke’s dress is clinging to life or is it trying to leave her body? I can’t tell. Yes. I’m jealous. At least I’m honest!

Next, a look at the standings. Kyle & Lacey finished second with 56 points (and, seriously, I could watch his freestyle all day). Jennifer & Derek finished first with a perfect 60 points. Bristol & Mark finished third with 52 points (I’m a little creeped out by Mark telling Bristol, “Give me some sex” before her freestyle). Bristol said winning would be like “a big middle finger to all the people who hate my mom and hate me.” Hmmm.

The scoring was explained. Once the judges scores are given, they add the share to the viewer votes. It’s math, people. Not my strength. Right now, here’s the break down:

  • Jennifer & Derek – 60 points, 35.71%
  • Kyle & Lacey – 56 points, 33.33%
  • Bristol & Mark – 52 points, 30.95%

The couples still have two dances to go. We’re not getting to those just yet. Jennifer suffered a ruptured disc in her back Monday. She went to the hospital and plans to dance because “this might be my last two chances to ever dance on this show with Derek Hough.” WOW! That’s a girl who wants to win!

Christina Aguilera performed “Show Me How You Burlesque” from her new musical “Burlesque.”

Back to the real business of the night. The judges will only be allowed to use their 8, 9 and 10 paddle one time – ranking these performances.

Couple: Kyle & Lacey

Dance: Tango

This seems to start off even better than the last time they performed this. Kyle looks kind of fierce, like he’s on the prowl. Sooo good! I liked it!

Len said Kyle comes out with a great attitude and goes for the win. He’s not worried about playing it safe – and that’s why he’s an exciting dancer to watch. Bruno said Kyle is a talented young man. He said Kyle has the power to connect with the viewers. He called Kyle a stage animal. Carrie Ann said she’s glad Kyle chose the tango – it showed his poise and control. She said she loves the freshness the couple brings to the competition.

Couple: Bristol & Mark

Dance: Tango

Oh. Is it all tango tonight? I would not want to follow Kyle’s tango. But I’m not in the competition, so what do I know? Mark is smiling, Bristol is not. I’m moving on to her feet. They’re moving better. Not that silly rock thing. Ugh. And why do Bristol’s legs move like she’s got weights on them? Is she tired or hurt? I don’t love this. I don’t hate it. Meh.

Bruno said that was the dance that showed “Bristol the Fighter.” He said Bristol has always been a clean dancer, but this dance developed her performer. Carrie Ann said this was her favorite dance of Bristol’s. Len said Bristol and Kyle are two sides of a coin – Kyle has the wow and Bristol has the how. Huh?

Couple: Jennifer & Derek

Dance: Viennese Waltz

This is magical. It’s late and I’m a bit sleepy, but I could watch this until my eyes close so that I would have dancing dreams. Little lift at the end! I hope that’s allowed! LOVED IT!

Carrie Ann said the dance showed the full journey Jennifer has made. Tonight, she said there was a new wisdom in Jennifer’s body. Len said it was a mix of ease and elegance. He said Jennifer is the complete package. Bruno said her quality of movement, artistry, musicality all combined to make a beautiful waltz.

Now, it’s time for the scores.

  • Kyle & Lacey – 26 points
  • Bristol & Mark – 25 points
  • Jennifer & Derek – 30 points

The couples will have one more dance – the instant cha cha. They just learned the song is Pink’s “Raise Your Glass.” Now, it’s off to practice their dance to that song.

It wouldn’t be an elimination show without a little time filler. Tonight’s treat: The Hoff having a hard time escaping “DWTS.” Can we all chip in to buy him a shirt that actually buttons? I could do without seeing his man boobs bounce while he runs in slow motion.┬áThat sets off a song and dance from The Hoff with professional dancers in the “Baywatch” bathing suits. Sorry friends, I can’t do this. I hit FF.

Another time filler: the professionals talk about wanting to win. Once again, FF.

The champion athletes return. Rick & Cheryl and Kurt & Anna take the stage in kind of a dance duel.

Next up: the funny ladies. Margaret & Louis and Florence & Corky dance. Margaret still seems to look angry about dancing. Florence looks like she should be peddling drinks with fruit and umbrellas in them – and I’ll take one.

Another time filler: a look back at all the dramatic moments from the season. It’s too late for tears, so I hit FF.

The leaderboard is impressive:

  • Jennifer & Derek – 90 points
  • Kyle & Lacey – 82 points
  • Bristol & Mark – 77 points

Side Note: Bristol and Jennifer are wearing fringe pants – you know how I can’t take my eyes off the fringe pants! Fellas, Lacey’s costume is, well, lacey and see-through!

Oh, time filler with The Sitch. ABC, you really know how to make me want to stab myself in the eyes and ears with a pencil. FF! Apparently that early elimination did not get The Sitch to continue his dance lessons. He spent his time on the dance floor touching his nose and flirting with the professional dancers while pointing – oh and he’s shirtless. So, America wins, right?

Next time filler: taped piece on the most memorable moments from the season.

Brandy & Maks performed their quick step from TV week.

Christina Aguilera returned to perform “Beautiful.”

It’s the last dance! FINALLY!

Kyle & Lacey are first to tackle the instant cha cha. This kid is such a natural performer. Loved watching him. Jennifer & Derek were next. Fringe pants were in constant motion. Lots of fun! Bristol & Mark were last. She brought her shoulder shimmy. Pelvic thrusts returned. Um, Mark, Bristol’s mom is, like, RIGHT THERE. All three couples were good, but I didn’t feel like this was a decision maker. Not how I’d like to see the final three go out, but ABC isn’t asking for my opinion. I doubt they’ve even seen my recaps.

Len said he’s never seen Bristol that good. He said Kyle’s a marvel. He said Jennifer was well-done. Bruno said Jennifer was perfection. He said Kyle was scorching hot. He said Bristol saved the best for last. Carrie Ann said they were all great. She said Kyle & Lacey inspire joy, Bristol & Mark inspire hope and Jennifer & Derek tell us about perseverance.

Now the final scores:

  • Kyle & Lacey – 28 points
  • Jennifer & Derek – 28 points
  • Bristol & Mark – 27 points

The updated leaderboard looks like this:

  • Jennifer & Derek – 118 points
  • Kyle & Lacey – 110 points
  • Bristol & Mark – 104 points

On to the business of elimination… Tom said they received more votes than ever before. The couple in third place: Bristol & Mark. I hit FF on the taped recap of her time on the show.

The winners and new champions of “Dancing With The Stars” are… Jennifer & Derek!

Friends, thanks for sticking with me as I recapped each and every one of these shows. It’s been fun and those of you who have emailed me have made my day (it’s nice to know all this time I spend watching and typing is actually read). I hope you’re happy with the results of the show!

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