DWTS: Seventh Elimination

Note: This recap is coming at you a little late because I don’t just get to write about this show. I also get to wrangle our election coverage. Thank you for your patience!

It’s getting down to the wire. Rick had one of his finest weeks, but was that enough to keep him and that crazy green suit? We’ll have to wait as the judges jump right in with a repeat of Team Apolo’s cha cha cha.

Next, it’s elimination. The first couples to take the stage: Brandy & Maks (first place with 64 points) and Bristol & Mark (sixth place with 57 points). Bristol had a little breakdown. She’s homesick and misses her son. I feel a little sad for her. Brandy & Maks are safe. Bristol & Mark are in jeopardy.

Hmmm. Here’s a new time filler: DWTS Awards. Most Dramatic Moment nominees: Christian’s arm injury, Kate & Tony’s fight, Misty May’s injury, Marie Osmond’s collapse and Kelly’s wardrobe malfunction. The winner: Marie Osmond.

The Macy’s Stars of Dance perform: the cast of Mary Poppins sang and danced their way across the ballroom.

Taylor Swift performed Mine.

Back to the time filler. DWTS award for Best, Worst Dancer. Nominees: Kenny Mayne, Master P, Kate Gosselin, Steve Wozniak and Billy Ray Cyrus. Wow! They’re all bad and I think there are a few who did not make the cut. The winner: Kenny Mayne. I bet Kate’s unhappy because she could have been on TV one more time.

The next two couples to learn their fate take the stage. Standing in the spotlight: Rick & Cheryl (third place with 61 points) and Jennifer & Derek (first place with 64 points). Jennifer & Derek are safe. Please go back to the previous posts and note that I predicted she would come back strong after taking a hit. I’m working on selecting lottery numbers as I type. Rick & Cheryl are in jeopardy.

Time filler time. The nominees for Biggest Dancer Transformation are: Derek Hough, Tony Dovolani, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Mark Ballas and Louis Van Amstel. And the winner is: Louis Van Amstel.

Rod Stewart performed I Get A Kick Out of You.

Back to the time filler. The nominees for Best Judges’ Moments: Carrie Ann and her noises and tears, Len and his adorable Brit insults, Bruno and his nonsensical critiques. Why doesn’t Bruno have his own reality show? I’d totally watch that! Oh, I guess all the judges win? No award for them – not even a sparkly “11” paddle.

The remaining two couples learn where they stand. Kyle & Lacey (fifth place with 59 points) and Kurt & Anna (third place with 61 points) stand in the spotlight. Kurt & Anna are safe. Really, America? Kyle & Lacey are in jeopardy.

Taylor Swift performed White Horse. Tom said he’s a big fan of Taylor’s, then he fainted (a la Marie Osmond – but Tom’s OK). Then, Taylor announced she’d perform at next week’s CMAs and introduced a taped piece about next week’s show. The couples will perform “Instant Dance.” The couples will know the dance style but won’t know their song until they’re live on the air. Could be disastrous! Can’t wait!

The three couples in jeopardy take the stage, but we don’t get to learn their fates yet. Oh, no. Instead, we get a time filler with the couples talking about how stressful this stage of the competition is. Hold on. I’m wiping away my tears. Back to the results… The next couple safe: Bristol & Mark. She seems happy. Homesickness can wait? And commercial break.

The cast of “Skating With The Stars” was announced. They are: Bethenny Frankel, Jonny Moseley, Rebecca Budig, Brandon Mychal Smith, Sean Young and Vince Neil. Sorry, friends, I will not be watching this one, so no weekly recaps – not even if you send me crates full of chocolate. Don’t even think about it.

Kyle & Lacey and Rick & Cheryl are patiently waiting. The couple going home: Rick & Cheryl.

Wow! I’m surprised! Rick was so good (read: handsome)! Maybe I should have done some voting. Let’s see who steps it up next week. I think Brandy and Jennifer are going to be in the big finale, but I’m not sure who else will try to keep up with them.

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