DWTS Season 11: TV Theme Week

It’s the first ever TV Theme Week! I am pretty sure Florence Henderson will be forced to dance to “The Brady Bunch” theme song. I mean, no Cindy looking up and smiling from her box at the bottom of the screen? How can this possibly work? We’re halfway through the competition. Let’s see how they do.

Before we get to the dancing, the judges rate the stars.

  • Audrina: Len called her a bombshell. He said she needed to be sharper week two. She delivered. Her posture improved the third week. He said one of his worries is that Tony will be a little bit frightened to challenge her. Len said there is no reason why Audrina shouldn’t win. He said she’s talented. Len said Audrina’s best dance was her waltz.
  • Kyle: Bruno said Kyle is a star entertainer. He’s impressed by Kyle’s interpretation of the music. He said Kyle’s age has an advantage of energy, but his lack of experience makes him look out of control at times. Bruno said Kyle needs to work on his ballroom dancing. Bruno said he uses his feet the same in every dance. He said the cha cha cha was his favorite.
  • Brandy: Carrie Ann said Brandy has learned how to work her arms in a way that is beautiful. She said Brandy has a lot of insecurity. Carrie Ann said if Brandy felt more confident in her dancing, the judges would be more confident in her. She said Brandy’s rumba was her best dance.

Really? We’re starting the show with time fillers? BRING ON THE DANCING!

  • Kurt: Len said Kurt shows us dancing can look macho. He said Kurt had hands like huge frying pans week one, among other criticisms in week one. Len said Kurt needs to work on his upper body and his hands. Oh, and his footwork. Wait. So, Kurt’s macho, but everything else is all wrong? Len said if Kurt can keep all of his routines as sharp as his jive, he can go on and on.
  • Bristol: Bruno said Bristol has guts – coming from the middle of nowhere in Alaska to performing in Hollywood. He said Bristol has great coordination, musicality and is light on her feet. But she’s not an entertainer. He said sometimes her face goes vacant. Bruno said being sexy is a crucial part in latin dances, but Bristol is not comfortable with that. Bruno wants to see Bristol explode – blood, sweat, tears and guts. He said she needs to open the door and let the minx out. He said Bristol’s quick step was her best dance.
  • Florence: Len said Florence still has it. He said Florence is a great entertainer. He said her timing is good. Her biggest trouble is that she can’t compete with the young people physically, but she can compete with her footwork. He said Florence needs to up the ante on her own level of skills. Len said Florence’s best dance was the rumba.


  • Rick: Len said he was concerned about Rick because he’s 6 foot 7 inches tall. But he said Rick embraces the character of each dance. He said Rick tends to be slow at times – there’s a need for speed. Len said Rick has to work on his mobility in his upper body. He said Rick’s samba was his best dance.
  • Jennifer: Carrie Ann said Jennifer and Derek have the biggest age gap of the couples. She said Jennifer is pushing herself to the edge with incredible choreography. She said Jennifer wears her emotions on her sleeve, but sometimes her nerves get the best of her. Carrie Ann said Jennifer psyched herself out during story week. She said Jennifer also has a lot of injuries and Derek has to choreograph around those. Carrie Ann said Jennifer has nowhere to go but down, but if she continues to deliver – like with her Argentine tango – everyone else better step up.

FINALLY! On to the dancing!

Couple: Brandy & Maks

Dance: Quick Step

Their theme song is from “Friends.” OK. I know they have to tell some kind of story with the dance, but I don’t like the sitting around silliness. I want them to get to the quick step. And when they finally do, it’s quite good. I couldn’t tell if Brandy and Maks were truly friends, but I could tell that they were in near perfect step and she kept a smile on her face the entire time. I don’t love the quick step, but I enjoyed this.

Len said he’s so impressed. He said it was full of energy, was a little bit sassy and was Brandy’s best dance. Bruno said Brandy and Maks found the right formula. He broke his pen tapping on the desk waiting for Brandy to lose it, but she was on it. Carrie Ann said she sees an amazing new bond with Brandy trusting herself and her partner.


Couple: Florence & Corky

Dance: Tango

Their them is, surprise surprise, “The Brady Bunch.” Oh, hello Greg Brady! Wait. Don’t kiss her! On to the dance. I thought Florence was going to dress in her house coat. That came off to reveal a sparkly flesh-colored dress. Two things about this: Corky seems a little rough with Florence and she seems awfully chesty – or is it just me who notices that? This could have been a really good dance. I’m not sure because all I’ve been doing is singing the theme song. It was fun.

Bruno said when Florence started and played it classic and straight, it was beautiful. He did not thing the shaky thing – and he shook Len to show it – (the rough part I noticed) was necessary. He said she has the means to do something great. Carrie Ann liked it. She thinks the dance showed off Florence’s sexiness. She said some of the moves threw off Florence’s timing. Len wished he was a sexy senior. Florence kissed him. Len said Florence has gotten this far because of her talent. He said parts of the dance were excellent, a couple of bits were too frantic. He said it’s Florence’s best dance yet.


Couple: Kurt & Ann

Dance: Quick Step

Their theme is “Bewitched.” Anna has never seen it. Anna did get the nose wiggle down. Once again, it’s the silly set up before they get on the floor and get to stepping quickly. I cannot believe Kurt can move so easily. He’s a big guy and he’s shuffling about as if he does the quick step all the time. Maybe his hold could have been a little tighter. Still, I liked this.

Carrie Ann said she saw the spirit of Gene Kelly enter the body of Kurt. She said Kurt made it look like it was something he’s been doing all his life. Len said after last week, the only way to go was up and he did it. He said it was a vast improvement. Bruno said the magic is back. He likes it when Kurt’s bewitched. He said Kurt’s timing was great. He said the posture sometimes went, but it was brilliant.


Couple: Audrina & Tony

Dance: Rumba

Their theme is “The Hills.” I’ve decided to stop listening to the music and just watch the dance. This was not awkwardly sexy. It was nice and just a little sassy. I am actually impressed with Audrina. She can dance. I liked this.

Len said it was an excellent rumba. He liked her feet, legs and hip. He said Audrina sometimes looks a bit intimidated. He thought she did a good job. Bruno said technically Audrina has improved. But, he wanted passion. He said rumba has to smolder. He said, “Don’t be plastic, be fantastic.” I totally want that on a t-shirt! Carrie Ann said everything was gorgeous from the hips down. From up above, it was still and dead. Carrie Ann thought she spotted a lift. Tony said there was no lift. Uh oh. Lift police!


Couple: Kyle & Lacey

Dance:  Fox Trot

Their theme is “Charlie’s Angels.” What the afro is happening here? Is that the world’s largest mustache? And holy feathered hair, Lacey! OK, I get it. This might be the funkiest fox trot I’ve ever seen. It had some disco moves thrown in. I don’t know how much fox trot was in this, but I enjoyed it. So far, my favorite dance – costumes and all!

Bruno said Kyle brings on the feel-good factor. He said it was a fox trot possessed by disco fever. Bruno got spastic hands. He said it was like Richard Pryor gone mad. Lacey asked who was Richard Pryor – really? Bruno said there wasn’t enough fox trot. Carrie disagreed. She liked the way Kyle led with full-body contact. She said he led Lacey. Len had his unhappy face. He said the dance started bad and got worse and worse. He said it was a joke. He couldn’t stand it. He thought it was terrible. Lots of booing happening. Tom said, “I thought you liked the 70s – OK, the 1870s.”

SCORE: 20 (Len gave it a 5)

Couple: Rick & Cheryl

Dance: Rumba

Their theme is “Hill Street Blues.” Seriously, people, go back and watch these dances without the music. SOOO much better! I think Rick was really good. I might like this more than his samba.

Carrie Ann was smitten. She said it should be a crime that you can look that good and rumba so well. Len liked it. He said it had an ease and an elegance. He said Rick has musical arms. He didn’t get the feeling of a developing romance, it was more like a couple staying together for the sake of the children. Bruno said the children are going to be gorgeous. He said in a week, Rick went from megatron to mega-smooth. I don’t know what to say about that.


Couple: Bristol & Mark

Dance: Jive

Their theme is “The Monkees.” What? You were expecting something from Fox News? Mark took Bristol to clown class. Oh, for her sake, I hope this helps her. Otherwise, she just looks silly on TV. Oh, gorilla costumes. Bristol seemed lost. Then, they ditched the costumes. No distractions. Mark was jiving, Bristol, not so much. She was out of step, her arms were off. She just seemed lost the whole time. I love a jive. I did not love this – whatever it was.

Len liked the monkey suits, he wanted them to stay on longer. He said Bristol showed a higher degree of performance. Bruno loved the gorillas in the twist, that could have gone on forever. But, the technique went down. She lost timing, it wasn’t sharp enough. Carrie Ann said she’s happy Bristol tried something new. She saw a transformation. But, she said Bristol forgot a lot of the moves. Still, she said it was a big step forward.


Couple: Jennifer & Derek

Dance: Fox Trot

Their theme is “Married With Children.” Oh my gosh! I LOVE THIS! It was light and fun and full of dance! It was like a scene from a dream on a TV show (not that I could see Peg and Al doing this). So happy and sweet! Great way to end the show!

Bruno said it was like watching the perfect housewife. He said Bree Van de Camp would be green with envy. He said it was like being back in time. Carrie Ann said it was good. She said it wasn’t Jennifer’s best. She said she saw Jennifer’s eyes go blank. Len said the actual dance was lovely, but it was too theatrical. He said Jennifer is a nice dancer that she doesn’t need to waste twelve bars with a feather duster. Wow. Len’s wearing his cranky pants.


On the elimination show, Shakira and Jason Derulo (who?) will perform. The Hoff will return. We’ll also get to see Bruno’s dance DVD (what is that?). Also, one couple will be sent home (I’m looking at you, Bristol, Kyle and Florence). If you want to see some of the performances, go here.

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