DWTS Season 11: Second Dance

If America likes a comedienne wrapped in gold during a Viennese waltz, I have no idea what to expect from this week’s jives and quick steps. Tom Bergeron called it the toughest second week of dancing – EVER. First, can I ask if anyone else would like to see the intro wipe eliminated stars out as the competition goes on? And does anyone else wonder why we watch that fancy introduction, then have to watch the couples walk down the stairs as they’re introduced a second time? No? Just me. OK.

On to the dancing!

Couple: Rick & Cheryl

Dance: Jive

I can only imagine at his height, Rick’s kicks and arm movements are going to take up the whole dance floor. He hurt his left ankle and had some trouble learning the dance in rehearsals. Fingers crossed! Oh, I see the strategy here. Sleeveless Rick Fox! Another gimmick: show Cheryl’s ginormous panties that say “Tush” (not dirty, it’s the name of the song they’re jiving to). Maybe it’s his size, but Rick doesn’t seem to be very light on his feet. There also seemed to be a lot of posing. And now he’s spanking Cheryl. I give him points for the gimmicks, but did not love this jive. I did like it (and not  just for the sleeveless business).

Len asked if anyone told him tall guys can’t jive. Len said it was compact, fun and full of energy. He said Rick has become a contender. Bruno said it was like trying to get a Californian condor to dance with a hummingbird. He said it could have been sharper, but it wasn’t bad for week two. Carrie Ann thought Rick was better last week. She didn’t think his posture was as good this week.

SCORE: 21

Couple: Florence & Corky

Dance: Quick Step

Week two, and I’m once again confessing how much I dislike the quick step. It makes me want to take a nap – and I’m just watching it from the sofa! Florence is 76-years-old. Why doesn’t she just run a marathon? I don’t want her to get hurt! The dance started with a little goofiness – Florence pretended to step on Corky’s foot. Once they got down to the quick stepping, it wasn’t bad. I did notice Corky encouraging Florence to keep going. She seemed to lose her smile and speed about three-quarters of the way through it. Just a “meh” from me.

Bruno loved the grand dame entrance. He said at times it looked a bit as if “dragging Miss Daisy.” He said at moments the footwork was hesitant. Bruno did think the dance was lovely at times. Carrie Ann said it is incredible that Florence is dancing with ease. She thought Florence was elegant and light on her feet. She said it was not an easy routine. She liked it. Len said Florence’s age has no bearing on how he feels. He said he’ll see Florence next week. Florence kissed all the judges on her way out.

SCORE: 19

Couple: Brandy & Maks

Dance: Jive

These two fight a lot during rehearsals. It’s not like last season’s spats with Tony and Kate. It’s the kind of fighting that could make Brandy go far in the competition. What in the white knee socks is happening? I can’t stop looking at Brandy’s legs. I’m not a dance expert, but I don’t think grinding and shimmying solo is part of the jive. Her feet looked heavy. And what is up with the sudden stop near the end of the dance? And why is Brandy all about doing a bit of a solo? I want a jive that makes me want to get up off of my sofa!

Carrie Ann said Brandy is so happy to be doing the jive, but the energy was out of control and Brandy did not point her toes. Maks said her shoes made it impossible to point her toes. Carrie Ann got her to do it. She said the dance was sloppy. Len said Brandy will never dance bad because she has great coordination. However, he said Brandy didn’t dance with intent. He did not like the solo. Brandy said it was Maks’ fault. Wow! Way to throw your partner under the bus! Bruno said Brandy looked a little like one of Gwen Stefani’s dancers. He said Brandy wasn’t sharp enough or precise enough. He said she can do better.

SCORE: 21

Couple: Michael & Chelsie

Dance: Jive

Michael has laryngitis. Annnnnd we have our second teammates bickering. I’m already bored with Michael. It doesn’t seem like he wants to be there. When he says “I don’t quit. I’m going to give it all I’ve got,” I don’t believe him. Crawling of a dog house at the beginning? NO! Just dance! Oh, timing issues! Chelsie seemed to be doing the dancing as Michael scooted across the floor. He couldn’t be stiffer unless he was a mannequin. And did I blink, or were there next to zero kicks? Might be the worst jive I’ve ever seen (and I’ve actually attempted the jive – in my home using the Wii).

Len doesn’t think the world’s ready for Michael’s interpretation of the jive. He said it needed a pooper scooper. He said this was a dance that wasn’t Michael’s cup of tea. Bruno said he’s a dog lover, but Michael makes it hard for him. He said it was a mess. He said Michael did it all very badly. He said it was the worse jive in eleven seasons. Len said Bruno should keep some of the comments to himself because it’s unfair. Carrie Ann said Michael took a huge risk crawling out of the dog house to please his partner. Unfortunately, she said it was very awkward. She said his body went into lock mode, showing how uncomfortable she was.

SCORE: 12 (ouch – a 3 from Bruno!)

Couple: Audrina & Tony

Dance: Quick Step

I love her faux mullet! OK. This is a quick step! Oh my fast feet! Where did Audrina the dancer come from? I mean, I know she was on The Hills, but that’s not a dance show. This is the best quick step of the night (so far). I am so happy for Tony! This is like redemption from his Kate experience! WOW!

Bruno said, “the show pony is turning into Secretariat!” He said it was a promising performance. Carrie Ann said last week, she thought Audrina looked good and had the balls to do it. HUH?! She thought it was a huge improvement and spotted a tiny misstep. Len said it was the best dance so far of the night. Tony said during rehearsals that if they don’t get three “8” scores, he’ll wax his legs.

SCORE: 23 (Bruno gave them a 7! I can’t wait to see Tony’s sleek legs next week!)

Couple: Jennifer & Derek

Dance: Jive

Jennifer only learned she had cancer because she got a physical to do this show. Once again, I love her. NOW we’re jiving! I did not expect her to kick and shake it like this! At the mid-point, I wanted to catch my breath – how the heck is she still moving with such enthusiasm? I spied some of the other stars not smiling enthusiastically. Jamie Lee Curtis loved it. So there!

Carrie Ann said Jennifer is like a sexy, hot Energizer bunny. She had to address Jennifer, who was sprawled out on the floor. Len said it was spot on. Bruno said the choreography was difficult and Jennifer nailed it. He said she was wicked.

SCORE: 24

There was some booing after the score was announced. Tom Bergeron explained what happened on “Jimmy Kimmel.” Break to talk with Sarah Palin. She said it was great to see the courage and joy from the dancers. When asked about the judges, Sarah said they were doing great – which she compared to criticizing hockey judges before the game. And she let us in on her nickname for Bristol – Bristol The Pistol.

Couple: Margaret & Louis

Dance: Jive

Margaret can only get better, right? RIGHT? Margaret seemed to be looking at Louis as if to say, “I’m doing it!” And she was. Mostly. Another spanking. Is this the silent theme of the night? Margaret did get a little lost a couple of times. She kept doing this thing with her hand, like it was trying to become a fist. Improvement from last week, but after Jennifer’s jive, nothing compares.

Len said it was better than last week. He said she needs to work on her kicks. Bruno said the dance is about precision and tightness. He said she needed to tighten her buttocks. Carrie Ann said Margaret improved. She said she needs to watch her shoulders. She said Margaret needs to watch her facial expressions.

SCORE: 18

Couple: Kyle & Lacey

Dance: Quick Step

I don’t know much about this Kyle kid, but he can dance. My only fear: he’ll go the way of that Cheetah Girl – gone too soon because no one really knows him. This was lots of fun! I actually liked this more than I thought I would!

Bruno said as a performer, Kyle is a powerhouse of boundless energy. He said Kyle started off with a quick step and ended doing a jive. He said Kyle needs more control. Carrie Ann said Kyle was a little flat-footed, but she liked it. She said Kyle hit it hard and she likes watching him. Len said it was not a traditional quick step. He said Kyle was flat-footed, his hold was off, it lacked style. But, he liked it.

SCORE: 22

Couple: Kurt & Anna

Dance: Jive

Judging by their rehearsal, Kurt seems to have a lot of energy. This could be good in the jive. Could be. Oh. We’re in the “Danger Zone.” Jumping jacks. There looked to be some football moves in this dance. And was Kurt counting steps or singing along? I couldn’t tell. This looks like a dance Kurt does at home to embarrass his kids. I liked it. Didn’t love it. But Kurt seemed like he was having a good time.

Carrie Ann said Kurt reminds her of everybody’s favorite uncle who has too much to drink at a wedding. She liked that everything seemed easy. Len said it was much improved. He said it was fun. Bruno said, “This is a cool guy that does a cool jive.” He said Kurt’s got it. He can’t wait to see Kurt’s progression.

SCORE: 21

Couple: The Situation & Karina

Dance: Quick Step

I have figured out The Sitch: if Popeye could dance, this is what it would look like. For realsies. From the pigeon-toed steps to the crazy hands. Check it out. Much improved from last week, but still not great. If this guy’s gonna stick around, he has to work a wee bit harder.

Len said it was a series of unfortunate events. He said for a difficult dance, The Sitch did a good enough job, better than last week. Bruno could tell The Sitch wanted to do it, but he went wrong all the way through. Carrie Ann thanked The Sitch for not doing the fist pump. She said he needs to learn to feel the music. Carrie Ann also noticed the pigeon toes. See? I’m not imagining things.

SCORE: 18

Couple: Bristol & Mark

Dance: Quick Step

I became a little misty-eyed watching Sarah tell Bristol how proud she is of her. It takes a lot of courage to get out there and do these dances – especially when you’re not a performer. Let’s see if she makes her mom proud again. I don’t love the gloves she’s wearing. It shows when her arms are a bit off in the choreography. Bristol’s feet said, “I got this,” but her face said, “Please make this end soon.” I’m just keeping my eyes on her feet. They were not bad. Not bad at all. I want her face to relax! She could do this.

Bruno said there is a fresh, non-showbiz quality about Bristol that is charming. He said she has to become an actress and dance not just for Bristol and Mark, but for everyone. Carrie Ann said Bristol reminds her of Kelly Osbourne. She can’t wait to see Bristol come back. Len said it’s close, but not quite there. The dance was neat and precise but needs more flair. He said Bristol is careful and needs to take chances if she’s going to win.

SCORE: 22

In case you missed it, Brad Womack will be back as the next “Bachelor.” You can watch the performances right now online. If you want to know more about the music that was used in the show, go here. Tune in to see who gets eliminated at eight (Michael Bolton, I’m looking at you). Seal and Janelle Monae will perform during the elimination show. Look for my recap of the elimination tomorrow.

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3 Comments on “DWTS Season 11: Second Dance”


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