DWTS Season 9: Ladies Night

It’s going to be tough for the ladies to top the pelvic thrust that shook Washington – and the rest of the world. I can’t wait to see what they have in store! Get the recap after the jump.

Like the first night, the professionals started the show with a dance – this time, just the ladies. Then, it’s on to the competition. Full disclosure: I am forwarding through a lot of the post dance reaction from the couples because I cannot take Samantha Harris saying “Of course” at least three times per couple. So, if they drop expletives or get cheeky, you’ll have to let me know in the comments section.

Couple: Debi & Maks

Dance: Salsa

I have to say, I love Debi’s work. I’m really hoping she can pull this off! OK. It doesn’t matter if she can dance. Maks isn’t wearing a shirt. Debi’s dress started molting during her spins. She did lose her footing for a step or two. She seemed to be having fun (part of the challenge for a lot of these stars). Maks did not make this an easy dance. I think she did a fine job!

Len said Debi wasn’t hippy or leggy. But he said it was full of energy and Debi is full of potential. Bruno said Debi can work her bosom like nobody else. But he said she needs to keep her weight on the front of the foot. Carrie Ann said it’s tougher on the girls since they’re compared more to the professionals. She expected more sass from Debi, but said it was a nice start.


Couple: Melissa & Mark

Dance: Viennese Waltz

I’m wondering if Melissa has any of her magic left from her “Teenage Witch” days? I watched her feet and didn’t notice any stumbling. She looked very graceful as she spun around the stage. Also, that white dress made her look like a princess. That said, there was something a bit off.

Bruno picked up on Melissa’s nerves. He says the dance was prim, proper, adequate but lacked magic. He thinks because of her nerves, she didn’t perform the way he had hoped. Carrie Ann said Melissa created a few moments, but she lacked a connection to the beat of the music. Len didn’t like the start – he called it “sweet and sickly.” He thought she kept her hold. He liked the movement. He said there was poor footwork, but it was otherwise OK. Huh?


Couple: Mya & Dmitry

Dance: Viennese Waltz

Mya’s having a princess moment. Dmitry seems to have lost most of the buttons on his sheer shirt. I’m wondering what the budget is on this show for waxing and spray tanning? OK. I’m focusing on Mya’s dancing. The girl is reallyy good! It looked like she’s been a ballroom dancer before (though she said she has only trained in tap). Wow. I’m impressed!

Carrie Ann said “Way to set the bar tonight!” She said Mya’s moves were gorgeous. Len said he’s in a predicament because he knows it’s the American smooth version of the dance, but he said they only had three bars in hold and he didn’t like those. He said it was not a Viennese waltz. He said it was a theatrical hodgepodge. The crowd and Bruno interrupted him. Bruno said it was artistry in motion. He said Mya was magnificent. He said DWTS takes off with Mya. Len was flustered. He said the audience can judge when they get home. He called Mya a fantastic dancer and said Dmitry let her down by not doing a proper waltz. Tom asked Len if he had been to three bars tonight. Giggles and the couple goes backstage to get their score.


Couple: Kathy & Tony

Dance: Salsa

Kathy said people assume she’s coordinated because she used to model. She quickly showed that’s not true. I’m so happy to learn models don’t have it all! From the first second I saw her on the stage, she looked like a dancer. Then, the music started. Uh oh. Trying. To. Be. Nice. Ohhhhkaaaaaaaaaaaay. This was a little Chuck-like: stiff and robotic. It was almost like she was blocking the dance and not really going through the full movements. Did not like this.

Len said Kathy has the potential to do better, but it lacked energy and was far too careful. Bruno said Kathy can sell almost anything, but she couldn’t sell the salsa. He said salsa is sex and with no sex it doesn’t work. Carrie Ann said Kathy has great posture, but in the salsa she  needs to let go. Her hips weren’t moving much. She needs to work on loosening up.


Couple: Natalie & Alec

Dance: Salsa

Hoping Natalie doesn’t look like a fish out of water (that’s right – you just got a free swimming pun). Natalie’s little dress helped her look the part. It showed off her swimmer muscles. But this felt slow. I noticed a lot of stopping. She also seemed to be concentrating so hard she forgot to smile at times. It was better than Kathy’s dance.

Bruno called Natalie the million dollar mermaid. He said she had some fantastic shapes and great positions. But she froze at some positions and needs to keep going. Carrie Ann said it’s going to be exciting to see her progress. She loved the dance. She said Natalie needs to work on her musicality. Len was bewildered. He said he thinks it’s time for his bath. He said he can’t understand how the gorgeous girls aren’t knocking his socks off with the salsas tonight. I believe he called for more sexiness. Not at all creepy.


Couple: Macy & Jonathan

Dance: Viennese Waltz

Jonathan told Macy as long as she has rhythm, that’s all that matters. Um, no. Has he not seen this show? I am expecting this to be awkward. Perhaps Macy needs to summon the lyrics to her hit “I Try” before she hits the stage. This seemed childlike. Macy’s arms were just flailing about. She seemed to stop in between steps. At one point, I wondered if she just wanted to quit? Jonathan, if you’re reading this, please note that I said rhythm is not all that matters.

Carrie Ann said it was fascinating. She said there is something fascinating to watch about Macy, but she couldn’t “even go there” when talking about Macy’s technique. Len said there’s a vulnerability about Macy. He said if he was at home, he’d be voting for Macy. What the huh? Bruno said Macy was endearing. He said it was like watching a child taking his first steps into a scary new world. Please send help. I’m totally understanding Bruno. He said they need to start working on the technique.


Couple: Joanna & Derek

Dance: Salsa

Holy boobs! This swimsuit model is, um, wearing this outfit! I’m sorry to report she’s the first star to wear those silly fringed pants. Even a model can’t pull those off! Side note: what is the deal with the Jacksons? Last night, Jermaine was in the audience, tonight it’s LaToya. If this dance isn’t hippy enough for the judges, I don’t know what is.This was not an easy dance and Joanna did a fine job. There should be enough sexiness to make Len happy.

Len said he’s happy because at last “we’ve seen a hot, smoking salsa.” Bruno said it was sexy and seductive, what a salsa should be. He complimented Derek’s choreography. Carrie Ann said it was hot. She said Joanna has confidence that is going to take her all the way.


Couple: Kelly & Louis

Dance: Viennese Waltz

OK. Loved seeing Ozzy shout, “Sharon!” when Louis showed up to meet Kelly. I think she’s just adorable. She is a girl after my own heart: she hates sweating and is terrified of getting out on the dance floor. I’m setting the bar low and hoping for the best. She looked like a sweet punk lady. Oh my gosh! I am tearing up. She looks like a dancer! The song (Ray LaMontagne’s “Trouble”) was perfect for Kelly and this dance. This might be my favorite performance of the night!

Sharon was crying. Kelly ran over and hugged Ozzy and kissed Sharon on the cheek. Bruno said he cannot believe his eyes. “The wild child rock princess transformed into a vision of grace, elegance in a world of impeccable style.” Carrie Ann said her parents should be proud. She said the dance gave her chills. She said Louis’ technique was great. She did take off points for Kelly taking her feet off the ground. Len said it was the best Viennese waltz of the night.


Now, it’s on to the relay dances. The two groups of four take on their second dance of the night.

Fox Trot Relay

Natalie & Alec: Elegant. I would have liked to see Natalie smile more.

Kathy & Tony: Kathy seemed a little more at ease. She was still pretty stiff. She also lost her footing at the end.

Joanna & Derek: Once I got past Joanna’s huge hair, I noticed she did a nice job.

Debi & Maks: I’m glad Debi looks like she’s having fun. She didn’t seem to do much fox trotting here.

Carrie Ann said Debi did a lift but she couldn’t take off points. She said Joanna was sexy and hot. She thought Kathy looked like she was going to the Oscars, but her footwork was tight. She said Natalie did great. Len said Natalie had lovely extension and danced well. He said Kathy needs to move more but looked elegant. He said Joann had a good mix of hold and apart. He said Maks was brave to do a lot of the dance in hold. Bruno said Natalie was more at ease. He said Kathy was elegant. He said Joanna was still smoking. He said Debi is a great performer and needs to control her energy. Here are the rankings:

  1. Joanna & Derek – 1o points
  2. Natalie & Alec – 8 points
  3. Debi & Maks – 6 points
  4. Kathy & Tony – 4 points

Cha Cha Cha Relay

Macy & Jonathan: This seemed like Macy had no energy.

Melissa & Derek: Melissa stepped it up here.

Mya & Dmitry: Wow! She was good! That was a great use of 30 seconds!

Kelly & Louis: Kelly can say she’s not a dancer all she wants, but she did a great job here!

Len said Macy’s schedule has caught up with her. He said Melissa had a much higher level of performance. He said Mya had great hips and the dance had more content. He said Kelly produced two first class dances. Bruno said Macy had better timing. He said Melissa was having fun. He said Mya’s footwork was hitting it. He said he can’t believe what he’s seeing from Kelly – she can shake it. Carrie Ann said Macy has to work harder on capturing the essence of the styling of the cha cha. She said Melissa came out of her shell. She said Mya was excellent. She loved Kelly’s leg work. Here are the rankings:

  1. Mya & Dmitry – 10 points
  2. Kelly & Louis – 8 points
  3. Melissa & Derek – 6 points
  4. Macy & Jonathan – 4 points

Wednesday, two couples will go home (I’m betting on Chuck or Ashley and Macy). Sean Kingston will perform. You can also catch the debut of the new Miley Cyrus video. Also, there will be a tribute to Patrick Swayze and the Macy’s Stars of Dance will return. Until then, you can check out video and more on the DWTS site. I’m not sure why ABC doesn’t want you to know what songs are used during the performances, but this is the best they’re offering as far as that information goes. I’ll pay more attention from here on out, since I know that’s what some of you really want to know about this show!

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