DWTS – Season Seven Begins!

That’s 82-year-old Cloris Leachman rehearsing for this season. I’m just warning you now, I will bring up her age every week that she’s on the competition.

So how did the funny lady and the other 12 contestants do on the opening night? Find out after the jump.

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

These two are the youngest partners (not counting the kids who performed in the Spring). They are adorable! Oh, and they can dance! It looks like these two have been together for a long time, instead of just a few weeks.

Len said it was high energy dancing, but Cody needs to refine everything. Bruno said Cody was bursting with energy and excitement. He said Cody needs to learn to focus on his feet, not just Julianne’s body. Carrie Ann said he got a little bit ahead of himself, but he has potential.

SCORE: 18

Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnoff

Dance: Fox Trot

Karina hurt herself in rehearsals before the show today, but she chose to dance on. I hardly noticed she was dancing with an injury. I’ve never watched Rocco cook, so I don’t know if he does this in the kitchen, but his face looked weird on the dance floor – like he was scared and about to lose it mentally.

Bruno said Rocco lost the timing, but had the energy. He said Rocco’s feet were all over the place. Carrie Ann said it was cute. She said Rocco knows how to connect with the audience. Len said it lacked finesse.

SCORE: 14

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

I give Toni points right off the bat for being the first celebrity to wear so little this early in the competition. Their dance was sexy and a good first attempt at the cha cha cha.

Carrie Ann thought it was fantastic. Len thought it was a good mix of basic moves and clever choreography. Bruno says he likes his divas slinky and sexy and Toni was all of those. He said he was really, really pleased and hopes she’ll be just as strong in the ballroom dance.

SCORE: 22

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke

Dance: Fox Trot

Maybe it was the bald head and the partner, but Maurice reminded me of Emmitt Smith. He was fun to watch and looked like he was having a good time. Not bad for the first outing.

Len said parts of it were wild, parts were wacky, parts were wonderful. Bruno said Maurice has a great presence of stage, but he lost his posture and had bad footwork when he partnered. He said he’s promising. Carrie Ann said the part that was fox trot felt stiff and slow, but she liked the personality he showed in the other parts of the dance.

SCORE: 18

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

Brooke looked super comfortable on the dance floor. I thought it was nice. I could not believe a woman can have four children AND that body!

Carrie Ann said Brooke’s body was designed to dance. Bruno said Brooke was going for broke. He said Len was panting over her hip action. Len said it was the best dance so far.

SCORE: 23

Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer

Dance: Fox Trot

There’s something about him that reminds me of George Hamilton – and it’s not the spray tan. Ted had this weird grin on his face, but he moved around the stage in a non-Hamilton kind of way. Not bad.

Bruno said Ted sometimes had the elegance of Cary Grant, then turned into Steve Carrell. He said it was entertaining. Len said Ted had style and elegance and his footwork was good. Carrie Ann said he has to overcome his fears. She said he had the movements, he just needs to relax.

SCORE: 18

Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

This was fast and full of energy. I don’t think it slowed down one bit. It was fun and it looked like they had a good time doing this one.

Len said what Lance did, he did well. He said it was young and modern, but Len didn’t want that. Carrie Ann thought it was hot, hot, hot. Bruno said it was edgy, spunky and fun. He said Lance should be proud and called it a “Cha Cha Cha for now!”

SCORE: 22

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas

Dance: Fox Trot

Once I got over the fact that a woman who could be my grandmother was showing so much cleavage, I could concentrate on the 82-year-old comedienne (see, there’s the age reference). It was lovely. It was sweet. I liked this dance. The crowd liked it, too. They gave her a standing ovation.

Cloris plopped her leg on the judge’s table in front of Bruno as he went on and on about her dancing at her age. Bruno even kissed her leg. Len said at her age he’s surprised at how well she danced. He thought the dance had a nice feel, then asked her to mind her cleavage because he was getting hot under the collar. He said he always wanted to be a  “Toy Boy” and this could be her chance. Cloris then sat on Carrie Ann’s lap. She called Cloris a golden oldie. And then, as the judges gave their scores, the potty mouth last seen on that Bob Saget roast returned.

SCORE: 16

Jeff Ross & Edyta Sliwinska

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

Jeff suffered a scratched cornea during rehearsals before the show, so he sported a patch over his left eye. ARGH. Wait, “talk like a pirate day” has passed. On to his dancing…let’s see. How to describe this… It reminds me of that awkward guy you see at every wedding who gets on the dance floor and doesn’t care if he looks the fool – he’s getting down with his bad self no matter what.

Carrie Ann said the flirting was good. She said the form was bad, the musicality was off, and it didn’t look like Jeff was having a good time. Bruno thought it didn’t work, except for the begging at the end. Len said everyone that comes on the show is a winner because of the commitment it takes to do it.

SCORE: 16

Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas

Dance: Fox Trot

This was elegant and fun. It was good. I suppose I had lower expectations after seeing Kim trip all over herself in rehearsals.

Len said the problem with it was that it was cold and lacked chemistry. Bruno said Kim was a treasure trove everyone would want to explore and she had to make it more available. Huh? Carrie Ann said Kim moved well, but her head stayed still making it hard for Kim to connect with the audience.

SCORE: 19

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

I’m expecting magic if she dances this in character. She has fantastic legs! I thought her movement was OK.l It seemed like she wasn’t following through with the steps at times.

Bruno said Susan looked like a gorgeous lady, but the cha cha cha needs “a slut.” He said she lost her footing. Carrie Ann said Susan’s body was banging, but thought Susan needs to put some weight on. Len said it was neat and precise and too careful. Then there was some bizarre fake make out session with Bruno before Susan & Tony went backstage for their scores.

SCORE: 15

Misty May-Treanor & Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Dance: Fox Trot

She’s so strong and has to learn to be lady-like on the stage. We’ll see. She looks beautiful. I thought she did a fine job – and she didn’t look that uncomfortable while she was dancing.

Carrie Ann loved Misty’s intensity. She told her to relax. Len said he thought it had an elegance about it. He thought she did a good job. Bruno said she shouldn’t worry about being lady like because she glows on the floor. Bruno told her to watch her shoulders when she dances.

SCORE: 21

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

I love him and I haven’t seen him dance. He’s so happy! He’s known as “The Quarterback Killer” but he said he’s “The Dance Floor Thriller.” I smiled the entire time they danced – and it was 1:15 A.M. when I watched this dance. Kym nearly lost her footing at one point. I really liked this dance and judging by the hooting in the audience, they did too.

Len said Warren came out and had fun. Carrie Ann said he brought joy to the dance floor. Bruno said big boys can dance. He said Warren was so light on his feet and he kept up with Kym.

SCORE: 21

I wouldn’t let a little thing like the lowest score be the end of Susan Lucci. I would think Jeff Ross is the first to go. We’ll see Tuesday night as they go from 13 dancers to 12 – and one more of them will be eliminated Wednesday.

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