All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance

If you weren’t a believer in Kristi last week, you will be this week. The girl can DANCE!!

In case you missed last night’s performances, click here. If you’ve seen it, read on.

The Gutte was first up. He danced a mambo. He looked a little like “The Jerk.” I’m not bustin’ on the Gutte. I love the Gutte. But seriously, the white suit was something Navin R. Johnsonwould wear. And that silly mouth-wide-open thing. If Navin was a real person and was on the show, I imagine it would look a whole lot like the Gutte’s dance. His score: 16.

Christian was second. He danced the quick step. This is my least favorite dance. Why? Because when it’s done right, it makes me tired. When it’s done wrong, my mind wanders and I begin to do things like make a shopping list in my head. Oh, back to Christian. Man, is he pretty. Here’s the thing: I’ll probably write that every week he’s on the show. Just deal with it. His dance moves were not bad, good in fact. His score: 20.

Monica was the first lady up. Her mambo was not good. It was uncomfortable to watch, kind of like when Oprah dances on her show. You just want to tell her to take a seat. Her score (Monica’s not Oprah’s): 15.

Penn was next with the quick step. First of all, he had this creepy judge voodoo doll. That scared me. Then he did a magic trick with his tie – LAME. Once he actually danced, it looked like he was moving in slow motion. I deduct points for the cheesiness, but add a couple because he’s ginormous. His score: 17.

Priscilla did a mambo. Grandma can shake her moneymaker! It wasn’t a whole lot of booty shaking, just an age-appropriate amount for a latin dance. She was really good. I really didn’t notice her face much this time around. Her score: 21.

Shannon did a quick step. She had so much energy when she danced! It looked like she was having fun. Her score: 24.

Jason did a mambo. He was just H-O-T! Any men who saw him should be calling dance studios to get some lessons. He reminded me of Emmitt. He was very manly when he danced. He’s a big guy, but still looked graceful, even natural. The judges liked him, too. His score: 27.

Marissa did the quick step. First of all, I have to say Tony gave her a great pep talk in the piece that ran before the dance. Marissa was hard on herself because she can’t do things the other celebrity dancers can do. What she has is a stage presence. She smiled her way through this dance. It’s hard not to like her. Her score: 21.

Adam did the mambo. It reminds me of a drunk uncle at a wedding, dragging some girl onto the dance floor while. He is still uncomfortable to watch. It’s not quite dancing. It’s almost like he’s swatting away bees or something. His score: 19.

Marlee was the last lady to tackle the quick step. I wasn’t sure how she’d be able to do this since she can’t really hear the music. She was really good. A natural. Her score: 24.

They saved the best for last. Kristi did a fantastic mambo! She looked like a pro out there. If she is not in the finals, I’ll be stunned. Her score: 27.

Mario did a quick step that almost made me lose my breath. He was incredibly fast, almost running around the stage. My first thought was “Wow!” His score: 26.

Tonight, the eliminate one guy and one girl. I think Monica will be the first lady to hang up her dancing shoes. I think either Penn or Adam will go. At this point, I just can’t write that Gutte will go home.

Who do you think has danced their last dance? Let me know in the comments section. And, you can vote for who you think will be eliminated tonight in our web poll. Just click here.

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