Somebody still watches The Bachelor

JR’s NOTE: Julie Gill, one of the producers at KSAT 12 News, wrote a test blog about The Bachelor last night. She’s new to the blogging thing, so she wanted to give it a try. We’re also trying to work a “He Said, She Said” about the show from one of our male bloggers, so stay tuned.

——

Preshow: I’m doing this at Nicole’s request. I’m really not a blogger. BUT since I AM the last surviving Bachelor watcher, maybe it’s my duty to document what happens for posterity sake. I mean, if the show is on the air solely for my viewing pleasure … it’s the least I can do. Why do I watch, you say? I really do like to study people’s behavior. I’m fascinated that so many people have so little self respect and so little self control. I’m baffled by it. And just like a train wreck, I can’t look away.

I’m also interested in the Bachelors’ behavior. I like to test my gauge on people. Does he do what I think he will, and choose who I think he would? It’s a test of my ability to read people. I even (embarrassingly) admit that I get caught up in the “romance” DESPITE the fact that I’m equally skeptical about the whole premise of the show. It’s ridiculous. What man would ever settle down with one woman after experiencing what it’s like to have twenty-five women throw themselves at him? It’s just not going to happen. And yet, I return season after season for more punishment.

First Impression of Matt Grant: He is hot. I’m not gonna lie. And the host wants us to believe that he had to come to America to find a wife? Ha. Puhlease! This guy has player written all over him. His accent is adorable and I don’t trust him for a second. (I mean, did we not learn anything from fellow Brit, Hugh Grant? He too, was charming and nowhere near as cute as this Matt guy. And Hugh cheated on Liz Hurley with a transvestite hooker!)

First Impression of the 25 Bachelorettes:

The first night started like always, with the women competing for attention from the Bachelor. This is the part that makes me embarrassed for my gender. It is mortifying to see what women will do to woo a man. Chelsea challenged Matt to an arm wrestling match. Carri, from Oklahoma, tore apart a tin can with her teeth. Ashlee, the singer-songwriter from Florida strummed him a tune on the guitar. The lyrics went like this: “I’m crazy for you. I’m so crazy I compete with 24 other girls.” It didn’t rhyme. No wonder she doesn’t have a record contract.

The first impression rose went to Amanda, a cute, toothy, Account Executive from Florida with chronic hiccups. Amanda

(He has yet to find out about that endearing little trait.)

And of course, every Bachelor show has had the over-the-top whack job. Or as Erin the 33-year-old hot dog vendor put it, “You’ve always got that one token nutbag.” This season’s title goes to Stacey. Stacey

She drank too much, cussed like a sailor and came on a lot too strong. Here are some of her best quotes:

“I want to find a pharmaceutical that will cure something no one has thought of.”

“Hopefully (Matt) feels my vibrations.”

To Matt: “I don’t know much, but I want you to teach me.”

Matt to Stacy: “What do you like about London?” Stacy: “The Ocean”

Matt to Stacy: “What do you know about London?” Stacy: “The new upbringing cars.”

The final straw may have been when she pulled a pair of lacy panties out of her dress and tried to stuff them in Matt’s pocket. Matt’s response? “I don’t give a *%$# what country you’re from, that is not cool.” Finally, she passed out somewhere. So, it’s no surprise, Stacey was one of the ten girls who were denied roses tonight. Her departing words, “I don’t want to be with him anyway, because he can’t handle me.”

 

The show wrapped up with a preview of what’s to come this season. We can look forward to fights and drama courtesy of Marshana. (“That girl’s riding my nerves like a pony!”) There will be plenty of kissing, and a plethora of confessions from the bachelorettes who all “feel a connection with Matt.” More than a couple are “really falling in love with Matt.” Of course they all think he would be “the perfect husband.” A few even want to “marry him right now.” (Major eye roll)

And finally, as the credits rolled, there was a 35-second montage of outtakes of Matt dancing around like a big dork. He did the robot and the I-don’t-know-what-to-call-that. But now I think I’m in love. Oh yes, I’ll be back next week.

 

For More Bachelor Fun: ABC has a “Rose Ceremony Game” where you can make predictions on who will get roses at the next ceremony.

 

Read Julie’s Bachelor Blog for Week 2 

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6 Comments on “Somebody still watches The Bachelor”

  1. Ellen Says:

    Ooooh yeah! I will be watching too! Great review!

  2. Pam Keeth Says:

    I can’t give it up either so maybe we 3 are not the only ones unable to quit. Glad to hear from you Julie! Keep it goin.

  3. steve browne Says:

    What a bunch of crap! Just quoting Dr. Phil! We love Dr. Julie. Super producer. She is the best producer of all time.

  4. Michelle Says:

    WELL, I WATCH IT OFF AND ON DURING THE SEASON. SOME OF IT IS FUNNY AND SOME OF IT IS JUST PLAIN STUPID! I TRY TO PAY MORE ATTENTION AT THE END OF THE SHOW! I DID SEE THE DRUNK ONE AND SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ESCORTED OUT AT THAT POINT! NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO BE SUBJECT TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT!
    FROM WHAT I DID SEE, JULIE YOU GAVE A GREAT REVIEW OF THE SHOW!

  5. producerjulie Says:

    Thanks Steve Browne! (I only paid him 25 bucks to get that in writing and broadcast over the Internet.)


  6. […] read Julie’s other Bachelor Blogs: Week 1, Week […]


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